Well it finally happened. Right near the 10 year anniversary of buying it used, our 2002 mini-van transmission decided that after 150k+ miles it was done. I was just telling someone the other day I'd like to get an 8 seat Honda Odyessy™ or Toyota Sienna™. I need an extra seat and more trunk room but I couldn't justify getting rid of my van because it worked just fine. I still can't justify it after I get it fixed. Buying new cars is a great way to live life poor.
Cars get you from point A to B. That's it. My first vehicle was a 1988 Chevy S10™ pickup that we bought in 1991 when I got my license. The truck had no options. No power steering, no air conditioning, no power brakes, and a 5 speed stick. Options are just expensive toys that create expensive repairs later. I loved that truck and drove that thing till it literally set itself on fire.
How? Back in 2002 or 2003 I did a huge favor. Someone (ahem TM) asked me to do 6 hours worth of basketball refereeing in Hardin Missouri which is about an hour east of here in the Missouri River floodplain. The games were in February and just happened to be on the coldest day of the year with a high of 4 degrees. The truck had a leaky radiator and I just kept filling it up with water. It was a mild winter and never had any problems with it and never thought to check the anti-freeze level.
Like most small towns, the school in Hardin was on the edge of town. The poor truck sat in the cold with a 20+ mph wind blowing on it all day. I finished up the games and headed back to town in the dark. About halfway to Orrick, the truck started shaking. I had no idea what was wrong but noticed the temperature gauge. I pulled onto the shoulder and pulled the trigger for the hood latch. I went to open it and almost burnt my hand. I realized the radiator was frozen and the engine had no water to cool it. I sat for a while and let the steam/smoke die down. I made it another couple of miles, at 10 mph, to Orrick.
I had called Mrs. Loudmouth and she was on her way to pick me up. I pulled into a bank in Orrick that was right along Route 210. Luckily I had my heavy duty black ski mask. I was freezing and wanted to be somewhere warm. I thought to myself if I started banging on the windows and acting like I was breaking in while wearing a ski mask that the alarm would trigger and the PD would show up and let me sit in a warm squad car. I guess the bank didn't have anything in it because nothing happened.
If it couldn't get any more convoluded, a state highway patrolman was driving along Route 210 and made the turn into Orrick. I positioned myself so it looked like I was using a crow bar to open the door. I don't know if he saw me or not but he kept driving by. Mrs. Loudmouth eventually got there. Luckily it was 40+ degrees the next day so the radiator thawed and I was able to drive it home.
After that, it was never the same. For about 3 months, I would have to park it on an incline, push in the clutch, let the baby roll downhill, and pop the clutch to jumpstart it. Even then, I still didn't want to have to go buy another one. The thing still worked. It wasn't ideal but it worked. Moral of the S10 story? If you want to rob a bank, I know an easy one to target.
I then proceeded to buy a very late model purple Chevy Lumina™. The Luminas had a great V6 engine that would last forever but the thing looked like a floating turd. I would refer to it as the "purple turd." The turdiness of it is why I paid very little cash for it but still got a lot of usage out of it until a minor fender bender economically totalled the thing. Even after the accident with the driver front side smashed up and the windshield cracked to pieces, I drove the thing for another 6 months before getting another truck.
The whole car buying experience is just so asinine (definition here for you Indiana University grads). If you have an older Honda or Toyota mini-van that seats 8 and are thinking of getting something else, let me know. Otherwise, I might have to deal with this guy....
Clip credit to MGM from the Cadillac Man movie.
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